Reduce Plastic Use

Want to save money and reduce plastic use? Here are four simple steps that anyone can incorporate into their lives:

1. Stop buying plastic water bottles. There are so many reusable bottle options out there I’m amazed that anyone is continuing to use single-use plastic bottles.
2. Say NO to plastic grocery bags. Instead, buy some sturdy reusable bags… and remember to take them into the store when you go shopping. (Note to self.) If you have plastic bags, use them for trash instead of buying more plastic bags.
3. Reuse cereal/cracker bags instead of buying plastic bags for packing food or other items. If using for food storage, be sure to rinse them out with warm soapy water after each use and air dry. I use them for sandwiches, chips and nuts when I’m on the go.
4. Choose glass containers for leftovers instead of plastic. Have fun exploring local thrift stores for glass containers. They’re inexpensive and come in a variety of sizes.

Here’s to you my irreplaceable friend

Close your eyes, clear your minds and ponder, if you will, the following question: How does one determine the merits of a life well-lived?

Is it based on how much money a person amassed during his lifetime? Is it based on the type of career that was pursued or the popularity of the individual?

Or maybe it’s based on the amount of things a person acquired during her lifetime – or eventually gave away?

While we each might have a different answer, the simplest response I can provide is this: a life well-lived can be determined by two things: the amount of love given and the amount of love received. Because when it comes down to it, perhaps the Beatles had it right when they reminded us that All You Need is Love.

I met Roy in the mid-80s when we were both working at the American Heart Association. I don’t remember when we first started to interact but I do remember being drawn to him. Roy radiated something that attracted me to him, like a bee to honey. He was cute, a style icon and quite the opposite of the stuffiness that permeated the Heart Association. He was also quite the baker, even then, always willing to recognize a special day or event.

I suspect Roy was different things to different people because he had so many aspects to his personality. I suppose we could say the same about ourselves and the people with whom we interact. One person might be our shopping buddy; another our movie pal; yet another our drinking partner … and on and on. But Roy seemed to have an overarching unique quality that not many people possess – he was someone you wanted completely in your life, and once you met him it was difficult to let go.

His talents were awe-inspiring: Baking fantastic sweets; cooking delicious dishes; sewing amazing clothes for Burning Man and other occasions; throwing fabulous parties, becoming the photographer extraordinaire and decorating with panache. He had style with a capital “S” but he was never intimidating or obnoxious about his many gifts. It was just Roy being Roy.

How could so much talent reside in one person, I would often ask myself. And how could he just pull something out of the draw or closet and create such a masterpiece? All those gifts swirling around inside of him, but there was more. His smile and laugh drew you in and captivated you. He was handsome, but I never got the sense that he was conceited.   He could be a bit wild or unorthodox (nude yoga anyone?) but he was nice – unpretentiously nice. I’m sure some of you might say, “Oh, he had his moments!”  But then, don’t we all!

As I write this, the one thing that really stands out for me is how people gravitated toward Roy. He came to my aunt and uncle’s home quite a few times – often bearing homemade gifts. Before he got sick he would come for Easter or stay for dinner when he dropped me off.  My aunt loved him. How could you not love someone who would bring you these fabulous cakes for your birthday or chocolate covered pretzels stuffed in a huge basket? Never mind that I would occasionally help with the baking and arranging, but I felt overlooked as my aunt fawned incessantly over Roy. The entire neighborhood would hear about his cakes and creations. And he just laughed.

Before he got sick … I remember the day he called me and told me he had cancer. I was stunned. I don’t remember him being overly upset. We talked about treatments and next steps. Sometime during the course of his journey I remember him saying, “The doctors told me that either the chemo or cancer is going to kill me.”  His struggles seemed to peak and then wane. The tiredness, the pain, the vomiting – interspersed with good days when you’d never know that he was sick. When I would go visit him, he was generally ready to rally and be the perfect host. The cancer hung insidiously in the air, but never defined him.

We are each here, on this earth, for a designated period of time. We often don’t know when our final day will come, but Roy had a sense of how much time he had. I think he tried to make the best of it. He fought and continued to live a full life. Although he may have had days filled with sadness and remorse, I think he chose to be in charge of this final chapter of his life. I don’t know this for certain, but I think he lived without regret. Whatever decisions he made, whatever  life threw at him, he seemed to manage and carry on. Giving up wasn’t an option.

That’s why it’s so hard to believe that he is no longer physically with us. Five years of trying to stay the course, hoping for a win, finally took its toll. The warrior within rallied, refusing to tread quietly into that dark night. But the night eventually did arrive.

I don’t, however, want to end on a sad note. How much better are you, and me, for having known Roy? How much of his essence remains with us as we toil on our own journeys? Let us sharpen our swords and polish the armor as we battle our own demons and adversities. Let us decorate with flair and try to recreate Roy’s Shrimp and Grits. Throw on something smashing and raise a glass to an irreplaceable friend. And most importantly, let us love and be loved. For that is, after all, why we’re here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make Mine a Memoir

If you’ve read any of my earlier posts, you know that I’m a bit of a voyeur — but not in  a creepy sense. When I was a young child, I would imagine myself flying above different neighborhoods peering into people’s homes. I was curious to see how they lived and how their homes were decorated. My parent’s didn’t buy a home until I graduated from high school, and then the house was as wholly inadequate as our former apartments. Small, cramped and in need of some TLC. So, other people and how they lived always fascinated me – and what better way to feed that interest than with a memoir (formerly called an autobiography – but memoir sounds so much more enticing).

I’ve always been a rather consistent writer and reader. I still relish going to the library and perusing the latest titles. While I enjoy a good mystery or biography, my latest pleasure has been the memoir. And it seems that lately, everyone has something to share. No longer do you need to be a seasoned octogenarian before you pen your life’s story. Kiss and tell? No problem — just change the names and modify the circumstances and no one will be the wiser.

People in their twenties and thirties are now writing memoirs. Of course these folks generally have something pretty interesting, salacious or horrific to divulge. Check out Tyler Henry, Between Two Worlds, and James Rhodes, Instrumental.

Intriguing, humorous, wretched or inspirational, memoirs pull me in and feed that curious gene in me. Here are just a few of the books I’ve read recently:

• Open – Andre Agassi
• There Was a Little Girl – Brooke Shields
• Beyond Belief: My Secret Life Inside Scientology And My Harrowing Escape – Jenna Miscavige Hill
• Boys in the Trees – Carly Simon
• Wishful Drinking and The Princess Diarist – Carrie Fisher
• Just Kids – Patti Smith
• The Art of the Pimp — Dennis Hof

You’ve probably noticed that most of these folks are entertainers or have led fairly public lives. But as public as their lives have been, there are still private aspects of their worlds that are only now being revealed in their memoirs. It does make me think that I have quite the boring life, but on the other hand I am sincerely grateful that I have not had to endure some cataclysmic event or life-threatening disease. Yes my life is fairly routine, but then sometimes routine is good. I can get my fix for adventure or mishap by reading someone’s memoir.

Memoirs also can give us strength and insight. James Rhodes was someone I never heard of before reading his memoir. Instrumental: A Memoir of Madness, Medication and Music takes us down the rabbit hole of abuse, addiction and madness. Yet the author has not only survived but is living his life’s dream as a concert pianist. I have never had much of an interest in classical music but I am looking forward to being transformed by his music.

So if you have been bitten by the writing bug, why not write your memoir? If you have children and grandchildren I suspect there is much about your life that they would enjoy knowing about. I realized much too late after both my parents died that there were questions I should have asked them. I’m not sure how much they would have divulged, but I’d like to think that there were quite a few adventures they would have enjoyed sharing.

As for me, I doubt a memoir is in my future. Perhaps I will continue to reveal a bit of myself in my blog — anonymous to those who don’t know me, perhaps captivating to those who do.  Did she or didn’t she? Only this writer know for sure …

Happy summer reading!

Falling Again

You reached out to me
Like you always do
How many years since I’ve heard from you
The last time we met
You couldn’t spare any time
Living with her
Living a lie

Kindness poured from your lips
Sucking me in
Thinking I could win
After so many years
Believing in the urgency of your words

Your letter came
Did I feel the same
Apologies for blowing me off
Life for you had been unkind
Sickness invading your body
Misery seizing your mind

You had always loved me
So you’ve said
Now you’ve left her
Yet again
Twenty years of triumphs
Twenty years of pain
Can I believe you
Or would it just be more of the same

You reeled me in
My heart expanding with joy
A week together
To love and play
Not thinking about tomorrow
Just living for today

What went wrong
Was it what you said
Or was I living a fantasy
In my head

You don’t want to hurt me
But you always do
Reaching out for a last embrace
The softness leaving your face

Not ready to commit
You push me away
Got to get your head on straight
No more contact, no more calls
And once again I fall

Humpty Trumpty

Humpty Trumpty wants a border wall.

Humpty Trumpty knows and sees all.

All the king’s women and all the king’s men

Are blasted, discounted by stories they tell.

Humpty Trumpty perches in a gilded loft

Living a life that is privileged and soft.

Spouting, spewing, a demagogue he –

Rattling the branches of our political tree.

Humpty Trumpty gathers his team

Vowing to resurrect the American dream.

He puffs and proclaims in avian discourse.

Yet which will be greater?

The gains …

Or the loss?

Transgender individuals — the latest threat or the latest victims?

Someone recently submitted a letter to a local paper equating the federal government with a pimp.  The issue? The Obama Administration is directing public schools to provide transgender students access to facilities — such as locker rooms — that match their chosen gender identity. The writer was warning readers that their daughters and granddaughters could say goodbye to privacy and security in the locker room. (Privacy and security? What about the killings and violence that have occurred in schools, plus the teachers, coaches and priests who have molested children?)

This same argument is also appearing on Facebook. Sound the alarm! Save the children! And I am becoming so incredibly sick of it.

Here’s my response to the letter writer — whose name has been changed to protect his ignorance:

Since Mr. Jones is so concerned about everyone’s daughters and granddaughters, perhaps he should focus on child abuse, pedophilia, school rapes and sex trafficking – areas that definitively and significantly impact the lives of young people.

It’s easy to rant about what we don’t understand or what appears foreign to us. People like to simplify, generalize and codify individuals and situations. We easily demonize those who are different or who don’t share our views.

Examples abound in our history – the Salem witch trials; annihilation of the American Indian; enslavement of blacks; forced sterilization for thousands inaccurately classified as “feeble minded “or epileptic *; homophobia and xenophobia. It all still exists in some shape or form – if not in our communities then in our hearts and minds.

Now conservative elitists deem the transgender individual as the latest threat. Unless I’m mistaken, all these individuals want to do is live in a body that is congruous to how they feel inside. They are not trolling around hoping to molest innocent young victims. In fact, I doubt most of us could even identify a transgender individual unless he or she decides to disclose that information.

So much could be accomplished if people would break out of their cocoons and broaden their horizons. Meet someone from a different culture or religion. Talk to someone who is being ostracized or bullied and learn what it feels like. Most people just want is to be accepted and loved. Is that too much to ask?

Yes, we have problems that need to be resolved, but focusing on what bathroom or locker room a transgender individual should use is not one of them.

Click here to learn how to be an ally for transgender people: http://www.glaad.org/transgender/transfaq

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*Check out: Imbeciles: The Supreme Court, American Eugenics, and the Sterilization of Carrie Buck  – March 1, 2016

Farewell Prince

The world has lost another musical legend. I’d like to think that Prince was welcomed into the great beyond by Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Ray Charles and all the other great artists that are hopefully still finding their voice and making incredible music on the other side.

I don’t know why I feel particularly sad about Prince. Maybe it’s because he died at 57, six years younger than me and making death seem that much closer. As of today, we don’t know the cause of death. Thankfully, he didn’t succumb to the hedonistic, detrimental lifestyle that claimed earlier artists in their prime such as Brian Jones, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse (all inauspicious members of the 27 Club).

It was said he could play more than 20 instruments, and he wrote successful songs for other artists such as Manic Monday, Jungle Love and Nothing Compares 2 U. For me, certain things will always be ingrained in my memory – his movie, Purple Rain, and that amazing soundtrack; his infinitely danceable compositions that still pull me to the dance floor; and his sensual, often androgynous demeanor. He was not afraid to be different or to stand up for what he believed in. While only 5’ 2”, he was a giant on stage – an electrifying, lascivious provocateur.

In addition to his incredible musical legacy (along with the stash of unreleased music that is supposedly locked in a vault) I think Prince’s legacy will be this:

1. Don’t be afraid to be who you really are.
2. Be bold.
3. Perform good deeds in private.
4. Don’t dump the details of your life into the universe for all to see and dissect.
5. Stand up for what you believe in, and don’t let anyone dictate how you should live your life.

In an age when we are debating about what bathroom transgender individuals should use (are we going to be strip-searched before entering restrooms?) let us take a moment to meditate on what is truly important in these tumultuous times. Reflect on that for a few moments, then light a candle, close your eyes and imagine yourself being bathed in the purple rain.

 

 

 

 

What is love?

As we near Valentine’s Day, I’m thinking of all the ways we banter about the word love. “I love that dress!” “I love San Francisco!” “I love long weekends at the beach …” And on and on.

I, along with a few others, believe the word love needs to be restored to its original intent. Like a thread-bear towel, the word has lost its appeal. Once uttered, it often flutters through the air, limp, transitory and inconsequential.

Don’t believe me? Here are some comments about the overuse of the word love:

From Gary R. Hess: The word love is used far too often in today’s society. The word is defined as ‘A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance’ by Dictionary.com. This is not the meaning of what many teenagers and even adults use … Love is developed over a long period of time, which shows how much each person cares for each other. ‘Love at first sight’ is not real. That is generally regarded to lust which may be transformed into love but does not begin as such. You cannot love someone who you do not personally know: their personality, their likes, dislikes, how they eat their food, their favorite pet, their allergies, etc … Save the word for someone special, that way love will be special.

From Love/Hate – AskMen 10 most overused words:  Is there a garden around –because these words have been watered down to the point of no return. And it’s all because people have been slowly accepting them as reasonable alternatives to describe fondness (or lack thereof). Love and hate both involved descriptions of serious passion or emotion at one time; now they’re just used as slang-fodder for anything to make a poetic statement. Let’s restore the prestige of these once-great expressions and lay off their usage, say, 95% of the time. That ought to help.

From  Marian Vere, Once Upon A Second Chance:  Love is a word that is overused these days, due to other lesser feelings often being mistaken for it. Infatuation, admiration, and attraction can pose as love, and can sometimes overwhelm us and fool us into thinking that we have found the real thing when we haven’t. Those other feelings may be pleasant for a time, but they are not real love. Real love is rare. It’s something that, quite honestly, I believe very few people ever truly experience.

I have to agree with Marian on that one – true love is quite rare. Looking back at all the men I dated, I can honestly say I loved perhaps one or two.

So on Valentine’s Day when the world seems enveloped in love, concentrate your affection on the people who really matter — your family, friends and significant other. And, if it doesn’t seem right to say those three words, think of something else to say. Something that will warm the heart of the other person, but won’t leave you backtracking if you’re caught in a lie or compromising situation and you’re confronted with the words, “But I thought you said you loved me!” 

Note: Have you been lucky enough to find true love? If so, I’d enjoy hearing from you.

With these intentions, I thee pledge …

I haven’t written for months – mainly due to lethargy, illness and an overall sense of having nothing to say. Then it hit me. Have I really squandered the entire month of January 2015?

It’s the same every year. The holidays consume us, and then we sail into a new year armed with determination and resolutions to do better and be better. I tend not to make resolutions because I don’t think they’re effective. And besides, resolutions can be made anytime during the year.

As I get older I admit it’s becoming more difficult to shift out of my contentment zone into unchartered waters. I know I need to continue to grow or risk becoming an irascible old puss. So, I actually have some intentions for 2015; whether or not I succeed remains to be seen.

• Develop Patience. I attended an Angel workshop a few weeks ago and the class began by everyone selecting one word from a box that was passed around to the participants. The word I selected was ‘patience.’ How apropos. So every day I pray for patience and attempt to practice it as well. Not feeling well can help foster patience because there are times when one must be still. While there are situations when I can be patient, it is not one of my strong suits. Perhaps there will be so many opportunities in 2015 to practice this virtue, that I will accomplish this goal. I hope not.

• Be Kind. I think I’m basically a nice person, but I wouldn’t necessarily describe myself as a “people person.” I’m an introvert who doesn’t do a great job of reaching out to new people or engaging in small talk. And while my Myers Briggs Type Indicator is INFP, somewhere along the line I picked up a fair dose of “judgmental.” With little effort, I could fire off a comment for everyone who litters, fails to remove their trash cans from the curb, rides my bumper or cuts me off while I’m driving, wears their pants below their butt, eats an unhealthy diet, is slovenly – and on and on. So my 2015 goal is to zip it. Don’t say anything, and even more than that, don’t send negative thoughts into the universe. Yes, I want to be kinder, but I also don’t want all those negative thoughts blasting me when that boomerang hits me in the butt.

• Find my Path. I’ve pretty much given up on this one, but why not keep it in the mix? Maybe one day I will have an epiphany and the light will go on. Eureka! So this is what I’m supposed to be doing while I’m roaming the earth. One of my friends said I’m already doing what I’m supposed to be doing; perhaps she’s right. But, I feel like I need to be passionate about something, and right now I sometimes slip through the days with little thought or motivation. So, I’ll continue to take classes, volunteer, work intermittently, question and explore, and perhaps one day the fog will dissipate – or I’ll trip and find myself face down on that elusive, veiled path.

• Find Someone to Love. You notice I didn’t say “Find my soul mate.” I know some people say they have connected with their life partner, but I don’t think that person exists for me. To love and be loved – isn’t that what everyone wants? But why is it so difficult to find the right person? If it was just about physical appearance or sex, it would be relatively easy. But it’s so much more than that. I need someone who engages my brain as well as my body. Someone who is kind and loving and has a passion for life. I did begin dating again last year, which is a start. Whether or not I find someone who piques my interest in 2015 is not exactly inconceivable at this juncture of my life. Perhaps improbable or ludicrous, but certainly not inconceivable – or so I keep reminding myself.

 In closing I share the following inspirational quote with you from beliefnet. It’s a good reminder of the adage “As we think, so we become.”

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.  – Frank Outlaw

Find more quotes at: http://www.beliefnet.com/

The problem with plastics

One of my favorite movies, It’s a Wonderful Life, has a scene in it that is both thoughtful and prophetic. George Bailey has an opportunity to join his friend, Sam, in his new plastics business. It’s a ‘get-rich-quick job’ in an industry that is the biggest thing since radio — and undoubtedly much better than the old savings and loan business. George, probably dizzy from being so close to Mary, says he wants no part of plastics and declines the offer – a ‘chance of a lifetime’ according to Sam. Smart guy!

Fast forward almost 70 years later (the film was released in 1946) and plastics have become synonymous with our fast-paced, disposable culture. They’re everywhere – from bags to toys, to containers and bottles, to product packaging, furniture and on and on.

Plastics aren’t necessarily a bad thing – think of the benefits of having plastic shampoo bottles instead of glass when you’re taking your shower or bath. What has become a problem is our lackadaisical attitudes and the proliferation of plastic waste in our environment.

When I walk through my neighborhood, I usually bring gloves and a few bags to pick up trash. Depending on the day, I generally pick up around a dozen plastic bottles, a half dozen cans and assorted litter that found its way to the streets. While some of this trash may have spilled out of overflowing trash cans, most was probably placed there by people who see nothing wrong with littering. I suspect these same people don’t recycle, although single-stream recycle bins are available in the neighborhood.

The implications of blanketing our environment with plastic bags and bottles are staggering. Here are some sobering excerpts from various websites. To learn more, click on the link at the end of each section.

U.S. Environmental Protection Agency

… Plastics make up almost 13 percent of the municipal solid waste (MSW) stream, a dramatic increase from 1960, when plastics were less than one percent of the waste stream. The largest amount of plastics is found in containers and packaging (e.g., soft drink bottles, lids, shampoo bottles), but they also are found in durable (e.g., appliances, furniture) and nondurable goods (e.g., diapers, trash bags, cups and utensils, medical devices).

• 32 million tons of plastic waste were generated in 2012, representing 12.7 percent of total MSW.
• In 2012, the United States generated almost 14 million tons of plastics as containers and packaging, about 11 million tons as durable goods such as appliances, and almost 7 million tons as nondurable goods, such as plates and cups.
• Only 9 percent of the total plastic waste generated in 2012 was recovered for recycling.
• In 2012, the category of plastics which includes bags, sacks and wraps was recycled at about 12 percent.
• Plastics also are found in automobiles, but recycling of these materials is counted separately from the MSW recycling rate.

Learn more: http://www.epa.gov/osw/conserve/materials/plastics.htm

Ocean Crusaders

Shoppers worldwide are using approximately 500 billion single-use plastic bags per year. This translates to about a million bags every minute across the globe or 150 bags a year for every person on earth.  And the number is rising.

• If you joined the bags end to end they would circumnavigate the globe 4,200 times.
• 100,000 marine creatures a year die from plastic entanglement and these are the ones found.
• Approximately 1 million sea birds also die from plastic.
• A plastic bag can kill numerous animals because they take so long to disintegrate. An animal that dies from the bag will decompose and the bag will be released. Another animal could harmlessly fall victim and once again eat the same bag.
• The floods in Bangladesh in 1988 and 1998 were made more severe because plastic bags clogged drains. The government has now banned plastic bags.
• In Ireland they introduced a 15 cents plastic bag tax and reduced their usage by 90 percent in one year. It is now 22 cents.
• Plastic bags are the number one man-made item that sailors see in our ocean.
• Worldwide, 13,000-15,000 pieces of plastic are dumped into the ocean every day.
• At least two thirds of the world’s fish stocks are suffering from plastic ingestion.

Learn more: http://oceancrusaders.org/crusades/plastic-crusades/plastic-statistics/

reuseit

• The U.S. goes through 100 billion plastic shopping bags annually at an estimated cost to retailers of $4 billion. (The Wall Street Journal)
• The extremely slow decomposition rate of plastic bags leaves them to drift on the ocean for untold years. According to Algalita Marine Research Foundation, these plastic bags cause the death of many marine animals (fish, sea turtles, etc.), every year when animals mistake them for food.
• Numbers were kept on 43 different types of refuse. Cigarette butts were the most common. Plastic bags came in second. (Ocean Conservancy, 2008)
• When plastics break down, they don’t biodegrade; they photo degrade. This means the materials break down to smaller fragments which readily soak up toxins. They then contaminate soil, waterways and animals upon digestion.
• Windblown plastic bags are so prevalent in Africa that a cottage industry has sprung up to harvest them. These are then woven and sold as hats and (more durable) bags.

Learn more: http://www.reuseit.com/facts-and-myths/facts-about-the-plastic-bag-pandemic.htm

Granted, plastics have become such an ubiquitous part of our lives (and a lucrative one) that we may never – or want to – eliminate plastics completely. So, why not focus on what we, the consumer, can control. Each person can make a choice to use reusable bags and containers. If you’re concerned about water quality, buy a filter for your faucet or look at other options.

There’s no mistaking that we have become a use-and-toss culture as stated in the reuseit website. Although the world has become a much smaller place thanks to the internet, I don’t think many people have become conscientious global citizens. What we have become are over-consumers who fail to see the implications of our actions or lack of action. Like Sam in It’s a Wonderful Life, we have become dazzled by the allure of plastics while ignoring the consequences. So who’s really benefiting from the bright future in plastics?